Embracing Failure: Your Path to Growth and Success

Is the fear of failure stopping you?

Author

Ken Lee
October 03, 2023

Welcome back to Prosperaptitude. If you’ve ever wanted to be a better version of yourself, you’re in the right place!

Not long ago, we discussed the drawbacks of perfectionism, and the fear of failure is pretty closely related. Sometimes we hold ourselves back with our own fear of failure, but what is it exactly, and why should we want to overcome it? Let’s dive in…

Defining the Fear of Failure

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines the fear of failure as an irrational and persistent fear or anxiety of failing to measure up to your own or someone else’s goals or standards. Taken to an extreme, you could probably see how this might hold you back both personally and professionally. If you have a fear of failure, you’ve learned that, somewhere in your past, that failure is bad, and this is truly not the case!

The Failure Paradox

Understanding that not all failure is bad is the first step to allowing greater innovation. Of course, not all organizations are quite as open to failure. What could you or your company have learned from the so-called failure? Instead of playing the blame game, take some time to really take stock of what you could have done differently. By doing this, you can learn to fail forward.

The obvious problem is that allowing the possibility of failure feels like encouraging mediocrity, but without the allowance of experimentation, which inherently includes failure, growth is stunted. The following failures are not the same: intelligent, systems-related, and preventable.

Intelligent failures are born of experimentation. The answers are unknowable beforehand and require testing. Not finding the answer is built into the model, but it doesn’t mean that testing ends. New information is added to the next test and another experiment progresses.

Systems-related failures occur when the system is inefficient or the system has never been pushed to a certain point. System failures are always a possibility, be it from personnel, equipment, or situations that have never been encountered.

Preventable failures are true failures. Lack of ability, inattention, or deviance could be the issue for preventable failures. Certain people may simply not have the ability to perform the assigned task. Others who have the ability may not be paying attention. Finally, there are those who understand their role but simply decide not to follow procedures.

Recognizing Your Own Fear

How can we tell if we actually have a fear of failure? Here are some signs- if you see these extremes within yourself, you have the opportunity to work on them.

  1. You worry about how people will view you if you fail.

  2. You worry about your level of competency if you fail.

  3. You often come down with physical ailments that prevent you from completing your preparations for a project or assessment.

  4. You often run out of time or procrastinate when it comes to preparing for a project or assessment.

  5. You inform people that you will probably not do well in order to get them to lower their expectations.

Strategies to Overcome Fear of Failure

By adopting a proactive mindset and implementing certain strategies, we can learn to overcome this fear and turn it into a catalyst for personal and professional growth.

1. Write down what you fear most:

The first step in conquering the fear of failure is to identify and confront it head-on. To do this, write down all the things that you fear about failing. These fears could be related to your career, personal life, or any other aspect of your existence. By writing them down, you acknowledge their existence and give yourself the opportunity to analyze them objectively.

Once you have your fear list, break down each fear into specific components. Ask yourself questions like: What's the worst that could happen? Is this fear rational? What are the potential benefits of facing this fear? By dissecting your fears, you'll gain a deeper understanding of their nature and discover that they are often less formidable than they appear.

2. Set Approach Goals:

Instead of solely focusing on avoiding failure, shift your perspective by setting approach goals. Approach goals are positive and proactive objectives that emphasize the actions you need to take to succeed. When your focus is on what you can do to achieve your desired outcome, it becomes easier to navigate the fear of failure.

For example, if you're afraid of failing at a new project, set approach goals like researching the topic thoroughly, breaking the project into manageable tasks, and seeking guidance from experts. By concentrating on these steps, you'll be more likely to succeed, and even if you encounter setbacks, you can view them as opportunities for growth.

3. Redefine Failure:

One of the most powerful ways to overcome the fear of failure is to redefine what failure means to you. Instead of seeing it as a final and negative outcome, view it as a single rung on your ladder to success. Failure is not the end; it's a part of the learning process. Embrace the idea that every setback is a valuable lesson that brings you closer to your goals.

Consider famous examples of individuals who faced numerous failures on their path to success, such as Thomas Edison, who famously said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." By changing your perception of failure, you can free yourself from the paralyzing grip of fear and become more resilient.

4. Focus on Learning:

Lastly, shift your focus from the fear of failure to the joy of learning. Every experience, whether successful or not, offers an opportunity to acquire knowledge and skills. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, ask yourself what you can learn from them. This approach not only helps you grow but also reduces the anxiety associated with potential failures.

Develop a growth mindset, which involves embracing challenges and seeing them as opportunities for self-improvement. Celebrate your efforts, resilience, and progress, regardless of the outcome. Remember that failure is not a reflection of your worth; it's a natural part of the human experience.

The writer has two graduate degrees: one being in mental health counseling.

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References:

APA Dictionary of Psychology

A trusted reference in the field of psychology, offering more than 25,000 clear and authoritative entries.

dictionary.apa.org/fear-of-failure

How Failure Promotes Personal and Professional Success | Entrepreneur

Here's how failure fuels growth and innovation — and why it's time to move away from perfectionism.

www.entrepreneur.com/growing-a-business/how-failure-promotes-personal-and-professional-success/455134

Strategies for Learning from Failure

Reprint: R1104B Many executives believe that all failure is bad (although it usually provides lessons) and that learning from it is pretty straightforward. The author, a professor at Harvard Business School, thinks both beliefs are misguided. In organizational life, she says, some failures are inevitable and some are even good. And successful learning from failure is not simple: It requires context-specific strategies. But first leaders must understand how the blame game gets in the way and work to create an organizational culture in which employees feel safe admitting or reporting on failure. Failures fall into three categories: preventable ones in predictable operations, which usually involve deviations from spec; unavoidable ones in complex systems, which may arise from unique combinations of needs, people, and problems; and intelligent ones at the frontier, where “good” failures occur quickly and on a small scale, providing the most valuable information. Strong leadership can build a learning culture—one in which failures large and small are consistently reported and deeply analyzed, and opportunities to experiment are proactively sought. Executives commonly and understandably worry that taking a sympathetic stance toward failure will create an “anything goes” work environment. They should instead recognize that failure is inevitable in today’s complex work organizations.

hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-from-failure

10 Signs That You Might Have Fear of Failure

... and 2 ways to overcome it and succeed.

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201306/10-signs-that-you-might-have-fear-of-failure

How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

People are quick to blame themselves for failure. But not doing something because you’re afraid to get started isn’t going to help you grow. Here are four strategies to help you get over the hump. Start by redefining what failure means to you. If you define failure as the discrepancy between what you hope to achieve (such as getting a job offer) and what you might achieve (learning from the experience), you can focus on what you learned, which helps you recalibrate for future challenges. It’s also important to set approach goals instead of avoidance goals: focus on what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid. Creating a “fear list” can also help. This is a list of what may not happen as a result of your fear — the cost of inaction. And finally, focus on learning. The chips aren’t always going to fall where you want them to — but if you expect that reality going into an event, you can be prepared to wring the most value out of whatever outcome.

hbr.org/2018/12/how-to-overcome-your-fear-of-failure

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