Emotional intelligence (EQ) isn't just a buzzword

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Did you know 60-90% of high performers are high in EQ? What is it, and how can it help you? Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, is similar to IQ. The intelligence quotient is a score developed to assess human intelligence. This concept has been around for quite a while.

Conversely, the concept of EQ was created in the early 90s by two psychology professors. It’s defined as the ability to understand and recognize not only your own emotions but the emotions of others, as well. It’s not just knowing what to say and when. There are actually five components to emotional intelligence:

Social skills- People with higher levels of EQ tend to interact more appropriately with others. They also have an easier time building and maintaining relationships. People with great social skills can be perceived as charming.

Self-awareness- One of the most important aspects of EQ is not just the ability to recognize one’s own emotions. It is the ability to recognize and translate emotions into words. Without knowing your emotions, emotional regulation or management will not happen.

Self-regulation- Once you’re aware of your feelings, the next step is managing them. For example, this means if you’re experiencing anger, you don’t need to throw anything. You have a choice as to how you express your anger. You have a choice as to how you express any emotion.

Empathy- Understanding yourself helps you understand other people. It’s easier to decipher what they’re feeling. Being able to do this allows people with high EQ to identify with other people more easily.

Motivation- The final component of EQ is motivation. People who can recognize and manage their emotions are more likely to stay true to their goals through times of difficulty.

While this is all well and good, what is the benefit of having a good EQ? Good emotional Intelligence allows people to mitigate conflict, reduce team stress, build relationships, and improve job satisfaction.

There is a certain level of EQ that we are born with, but that doesn’t mean we can’t improve it. We can start by:

1. Learning to recognize our own emotions. The simplest method might involve using a notepad or voice recorder on your phone. Take note of what happened during the day, regardless if it was good or bad, and how it made you feel and react.

2. Practicing active listening. Listen without rushing a response. Pause before responding. Asking questions to clarify the speaker’s points shows that you’re trying to understand them.

3. Slowing down. Being more deliberate allows you to recognize emotions and possibly head off disastrous knee-jerk reactions. Slowing down will also prevent you from saying things at inopportune times.

4. Paying attention to the people around you. Put down your phone when people are speaking with you. Give them your undivided attention, and they’ll know you’re listening.

Learning more about yourself and how you respond will not only help your professional life, but your family will undoubtedly benefit, as well. Leaders with a high EQ have teams that feel validated and appreciated which can lead to better employee retention and engagement.

If you’d like to start by learning your current EQ level, here is a link with some free resources.

This writer has a graduate degree in mental health counseling and exercise science.

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