Welcome back to Prosperaptitude. If you’ve ever wanted to be a better version of yourself, you’re in the right place!

The Paradox of Perfectionism

If you’re reading this, you are most likely an achiever or someone who enjoys self-improvement. Achievers are also more likely to be perfectionists. Has your perfectionism slowed or stopped you from starting something new? My guess is that the answer would be yes.

Definition of Perfectionism

Definitions of perfectionism range from the wish for something to be perfect or correct or having a disposition that anything less than perfection is unacceptable. If you know something could never actually be perfect, could you logically accept this definition and still be a perfectionist? What if I told you that being a perfectionist actually holds you back?

Consider this… Even science is not perfect. Theories are adopted until we learn something new that disproves them. We cannot be the keepers of all knowledge, but we CAN learn continuously.

Drawbacks of Being a Perfectionist

While it’s true that perfectionists are more engaged, work longer hours, and are more motivated on the job, they’re also more susceptible to anxiety, stress, depression, and higher levels of burnout. Self-critical perfectionists are easily discouraged by the standards they set for themselves.

Moreover, perfectionists are great ruminators. They tend to see an infinite path of how things can go wrong, so it’s easy to understand that they can also be great procrastinators. Their performance expectations may also drive them to never start. However, not all procrastinators are perfectionists, but that’s another story.

Solutions Moving Forward

If perfectionism is slowing or stopping your progress, consider these tips for future reference:

1. Break the project into very small tasks. Make the tasks simple and choose the easiest portions to start. Accomplishing the easy things first can set the momentum to keep you going.

2. Keep track of time. Perfectionists can spend a lot of time trying to get one thing right. Choose a reasonable amount of time to work on it, then step away to give yourself a breather. Take a quick walk or do anything that would refresh your mind and body.

3. Learn to say no. Self-expectations run high with perfectionists. Unless the project or task is absolutely necessary, politely decline and let them know that you would not be performing your best if you took it on.

4. Reward yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back after doing what you said you would do. Focus on the feeling that you would get from achieving that goal. A word of caution- using food as a reward can backfire.

5. Accept that people will judge you. Is your work nearly perfect all the time? Someone is jealous. Are you making mistakes with your work? Someone is already gloating. Do not let the thoughts of others stop you from getting started.

6. Purposefully lower the bar. Allow yourself the grace to be human. Accept that you WILL make a mistake, and give yourself time to come back and fix it. Incidentally, this is exactly how I write this newsletter. I write for a bit, walk away to do something else and come back to re-read it and write some more. You’ll be amazed at how much you get done AND how easily you can spot your mistakes!

Wherever you are with your self-expectations, remember that growth happens because we move forward, not because we are perfect. Logically, we know perfection doesn’t exist so stop holding yourself to that standard. Start the project, make mistakes, fix them, and keep advancing!

The writer has two graduate degrees: one being in mental health counseling.

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